Staying calm, composed and maintaining
strong self esteem in today's tough environment can be difficult but
is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6
tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.
Everything
and everyone else around you can affect your self esteem. Other
people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self image.
Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self
esteem and pull you down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let
these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?
1
: A Negative Work Environment
Beware of a "dog eat dog"
environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This
is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is
expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate
your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work
late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time
you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type
of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This is not just healthy
competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.
2:
Other Peoples Behaviour
Bulldozers, brown nosers,
gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking
wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers,
sluffers - whatever you want to call them, all have one thing in
common - an overriding desire to prosper at the expense of others.
Avoid them and do not be tempted to join them. They may get some
short term advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very
insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most their self
esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like this prosper
is sickening but do not join them - you are better than that!
3:
A Changing Environment
In today's fast moving society it is
difficult if not impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our
paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way
we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress
but, if it's inevitable, you must accept it, don't fight it and in
time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and try to
avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular change can't
be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us forever, we must learn
to live with it.
4: Past Experience
We all carry
"baggage" - past experiences which have moulded us to who
we are today, but some people live in their past experiences -
usually something that hurt and still hurts. It's okay to cry out
when you experience pain but don't let pain dominate your life as it
will transform itself into fears and phobias. If something painful
happens, or has happened to you, find a way to minimise the effects.
Discuss it with a friend, a family member or a professional if
necessary and move on. Don't let it continue to dominate your life
and dictate your future actions. Because something bad has happened
doesn't mean it will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad
experience and move on.
5: Negative World View
The
television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true that around
the world there are many people suffering war, famine or other
natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you should not
care and do nothing, remember that there are many beautiful positive
things happening too. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negative
aspects around the world. Learn to look for beauty too for, in
building self esteem, we must learn how to be positive in a negative
world.
6: Determination Theory
Are we a product of our
biological inherited characteristics (nature) or a result of the
influences we absorb throughout out lives (nurture)? I believe how we
are is due to a mixture of both nurture and nature and as a result
our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some
things are dictated by genetics (for example race, color and many
inherited conditions) your environment and the people in your life
have a major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you
have your own identity and make your own choices. The characteristics
your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from other
people's experience, so you don't suffer the same mistakes.
Are
some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don't believe
so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self
esteem and drawing on positive experiences for self improvement is a
choice, not a rule or a talent. No-one will come to you and give you
permission to build your self esteem and improve your self. It is in
your control.
It can be hard to keep positive, especially
when others and circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down.
You need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay
positive. Improving your self esteem gives you that protection.
One
way to stay positive is to minimise your exposure to harmful
influences while using affirmations to boost the positive influences
in your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the good things in
your life will keep the impact of negative influences to a minimum.
You can listen to Confidence and Motivation podcasts by visiting https://confidenceandmotivation.podomatic.com