Confidence isn’t about pretending to have all the answers. It’s not loud, flashy or attention-seeking. Real confidence is quiet power — consistent, grounded, and self-sustained. But it’s not just about what confident people do. It’s also about what they don’t do.
If you want more confidence, start by dropping the habits that quietly sabotage it. Think of your confidence like a fire. You need to add fuel, but you also need to stop pouring water on it. Some of your thoughts, behaviours, and patterns are putting out your spark before it even gets going.
Confidence in your abilities to go after your goals can sometimes be difficult to find or keep.
It can sometimes take time to discover the confidence you have inside you. This can be especially true if you are trying something new.
I have a program that can help you to discover what is holding you back from achieving your goals as well as help you set an attainable goal related to where you are in your life and where you are trying to be.
This program also works with you to build up your confidence in being able to reach your goal.
You can find out more about this program at Confidology, a funny name but a serious program.
You can contact me to talk about this or any other aspect of confidence and success at michael@outlook.com
Visit the site and read through the program description.
Let’s get straight to it — these are the things confident people avoid at all costs. Drop them, and you’ll notice a shift not just in how you feel, but in how you show up to your life.
1. Negative Self-Talk
Confidence and negative self-talk cannot coexist. The way you speak to yourself matters. Every time you call yourself stupid, lazy or not good enough — even if it’s a joke — you chip away at your sense of capability.
Confident people don’t lie to themselves, but they do speak with encouragement. They focus on progress, not perfection. Replace “I always mess this up” with “I’m figuring this out.” That small shift builds resilience.
2. Constant Self-Criticism
There’s a difference between self-awareness and self-attack. Confidence thrives when you can look at your actions objectively without tearing yourself down.
Confident people acknowledge mistakes, learn and move on. They don’t relive every flaw or failure. Self-compassion isn’t weakness — it’s necessary. Talk to yourself like someone you care about. You’ll be surprised how much that changes things.
3. Staying Around Saboteurs
You don’t need a cheering squad, but you also don’t need people subtly undercutting your growth. Confident people create distance from those who diminish their progress, question their ambition or inject doubt into every conversation.
Whether it’s jealousy, competitiveness or insecurity, someone else’s discomfort shouldn’t become your emotional weight. Choose your circle wisely.
4. Complaining Instead of Acting
Confident people don’t waste time complaining about things they can change. And if they can’t change it, they accept it and focus on what they can control.
Complaining reinforces helplessness. Action reinforces power. One keeps you stuck, the other moves you forward. Don’t fall into the habit of rehearsing problems instead of solving them.
5. Craving Attention or Approval
When you’re grounded in your worth, you stop chasing approval. You’re not looking around to see if people are clapping — you’re focused on doing the work that matters.
Confident people don’t perform for attention. They don’t need a constant dose of validation to feel good about themselves. Their motivation is internal, not external.
6. Obsessing Over Other People’s Lives
Confidence is staying in your own lane. Comparing yourself to others is the fastest way to feel like you’re not enough — especially when you’re only seeing their highlights.
Confident people stay focused on their path, their pace, their process. They observe others for inspiration, not competition. If you’re always looking sideways, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.
7. Waiting for 100% Certainty
Confident people act without all the answers. They’re okay with uncertainty. They know that waiting for perfect clarity often leads to no progress at all.
If you wait until you feel “completely ready,” you’ll miss the moment. Confidence is built through doing, adjusting and learning — not through endless planning. Move forward when you’re 70% ready. You’ll figure out the rest as you go.
8. Indecisiveness and Overthinking
Decisions shape direction. Confident people don’t paralyze themselves with options. They assess, decide and adapt if needed. They trust their judgment and don’t fear being wrong.
Avoiding decisions is just a slower way of saying no. Indecision drains your energy and your confidence. Make a choice. You’ll grow either way.
9. Hoping Luck Will Save Them
Luck plays a role in success, but it’s not the plan. Confident people work like the outcome depends on them. They don’t wait for things to align perfectly or for opportunities to fall in their lap.
Instead, they create momentum. They build skills, show up and stay consistent. And when luck does show up? They’re ready to meet it with preparation and action.
10. Making Excuses
Confident people take responsibility. They don’t sugarcoat why something didn’t happen. They own it. They fix it. They move on.
Excuses are just dressed-up fears. If you catch yourself explaining why something can’t happen, ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Is it discomfort? Risk? Criticism? Whatever it is — face it head-on. That’s what confidence looks like in action.
Confidence Starts with What You Stop
Confidence doesn’t require perfection. It doesn’t mean you never feel fear or doubt. It means you refuse to let those things run the show.
Start by subtracting the habits, thoughts and patterns that keep you playing small. Start by not doing what confident people avoid. You’ll notice things start to shift quickly. You’ll make decisions faster, recover quicker from setbacks and feel more grounded — even in uncertainty.
Confidence is a muscle. And this is how you train it.
To talk about any aspect of success or working with a Life Coach to help you to achieve success, you can book a 30-minute call by clicking on the blue button below.
Don’t try to do all of this by yourself, ask and receive the guidance that can get you moving towards your own success.
Working together can help you overcome personal and professional barriers, ensuring you reach your highest potential.
Nothing happens until action is taken.
To your success.
Michael
P.S Don’t forget to visit Confidology to learn more about the full program.
P.P.S. If you enjoy reading these articles on my blog, I have more books that have more of this type of information that you can find out more about at Books to Read. You can buy these ebooks at many on-line book stores. The links to the bookstores are at the link above.
P.P.P.S. I have a series of 4 articles on the “Fear of Success” that I have posted. You can also request a free PDF of all 4-articles by sending me an email message at coachmgw@outlook.com
Special Note
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